Cristel N. Kondelka

Okay since I have no one to talk to I’ll just vent to a wall on my tumblr. I feel so down… I feel so lonely… I feel hurt by many and betrayed by many … I can’t trust a single person. I tried so hard… I attempted to climb out of this thing called depression. But I get pulled back down again… This is why I give up… This is why I stopped trying first of all. Everyone in my life is temporary.. No one wants to help, no one notices? I want to get away, away from everyone.. I wish I could tell the good people from the bad.. I wish someone could stay in my life but all of my “friends” are too busy to give a fuck about me… I cry out but again, so called “friends” are too busy prancing around in their perfect little lives to worry about someone suffering so bad where they are wanting to constantly end their life. What is wrong w society? Who knows. I’m on my own now.. Fuck “friends” there’s no such thing… Family? They don’t want to face the fact that their daughter/cousin/sister/niece needs help… They think she’s a 16 year old girl who seeks attention… Don’t let it get to that point, world. You will miss me when I’m gone. I witness it all the time… Someone dies and all of a sudden everyone cares. Fake people in this world is ridiculous but when it comes to my time in life… I’m saying now, NO ONE WAS THERE FOR ME. I don’t have any friends. I don’t talk to anyone. My family is silent. That is all.

My life.

What are you supposed to do? When you feel so bad… About yourself, your life, just everything. Why should one person feel so down? Why does depression have to occur in person. Why must people in this world be so cruel? Why must people push another off the edge to the point where they want to kill themselves. Why is it the only way they can find a way out is to kill or harm themselves? It’s sad. There isn’t enough therapy to help… Pills are sadly not an option. No one to talk to… No one to run to. I’m so knocked down, can’t figure out a way to get up… What else can I do? Suicide is pathetic, right? No. What’s pathetic is making a person feel so bad about themselves to the point where they no longer want to live. I’m trying to runaway from my problems, if I continue to face my problems it would be an issue. I cannot find my way out, I want to move… Leave school… Just leave this world in all. I wish there was a cure for all the brutal, messed up things in this world… I need someone, but then again my trust cannot go to anyone, I’ve been stabbed in the back one too many times, hurt too many times by people who I thought would never hurt me ever. It’s sad. I have all these reasons why I try and isolate myself as much as possible. God, I need your help as soon as possible. I know you’re there looking over me and I know that everyone has to go through the rain to see the rainbow. I’m not trying to be rude but in my case I need a miracle :’(

bitsandbows:

Studio coming along nicely!Ready for Saturdays launch! #birmingham #bitsandbows #jewellery #fashion #fashionblog #custardfactory #digbeth #launch #cute #girly #quirky #pink #clothes #fashion #shopping #launch #event

bitsandbows:

Studio coming along nicely!Ready for Saturdays launch! #birmingham #bitsandbows #jewellery #fashion #fashionblog #custardfactory #digbeth #launch #cute #girly #quirky #pink #clothes #fashion #shopping #launch #event

juliendaross:

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juliendaross:

HEAD HIGH GORGEOUS!!! on @weheartit.com - http://whrt.it/Vo5UIb